| Oh God, come quickly for the execution of all things. |
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| Forces pulling from the center of the Earth again. I can feel it. |
[Saturday February 18th, 2006 @ 12:54am] |
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Live -- Lightning Crashes |
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He's making me write it again: Sean is coooooool! Sean really is cool, though, so there.
My Valentine's Day was spent with my mom, and it was a really nice time. We dumped Jack off at a babysitter's house and then went out to eat and caught a movie. I was worried about this Valentine's Day maybe being hard for her (despite the fact that it's just one day and that it's so cheesy and money-driven and industry-controlled), but she is my inspiration. She's so strong and so good and she is determined to get through anything, and she never has herself as one of her top priorities. I was honored to be her Valentine. I've been so selfish, and if my mom, of anyone, can be so positive, then why can't I? Well I can. Maybe I've been through a lot of shit and maybe I've been pretty bruised up, but I kind of miss who I used to be. I haven't felt very much like Emma lately.
My mom and and Jack and I are going to be in Toronto on Wednesday, and I don't know what day we'll be leaving. I'm not sure who all knows this, but I may be moving back to Degrassi and to Toronto sometime soon. Our trip in this upcoming week is to make final decisions and to look at houses. Peter, I guess that means you're finally getting your date in this next week. Better have some flowers ready! And Toronto: better have your peanut butter shelves stocked like whoa.. I can't believe that I just said "like whoa."
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| I'm still angry. What have I done? Why am I always messing with the big guns? |
[Thursday February 9th, 2006 @ 8:48pm] |
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Jenny Lewis -- The Big Guns |
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Sean is cool! I promised him that I would write that a while ago, and I haven't forgotten, even though it's been an outrageously long time since I've updated.
I should be doing my chemistry homework, but I decided that updating my livejournal is a bigger priority in my life than Antoine Lavoisier is. My grades in school are still better than they have been in a really long time, and I still can't decide if that's really good or really sad.
Peter continues to harass me.. sighhh. Just kidding.. kind of. I guess if I pick up the phone, then I can't really complain, though I wish that he was a sexy deliveryman instead of just Peter. The next time that I'm in Toronto, I owe him a date.
I might actually be in Toronto relatively soon. I need to make plans with some cool people, and Sean is going to buy me peanut butter. :) Craig, take notes. My mom wants to look at houses, and I'm not sure how I feel about that. She's been really excited about moving, and I don't know if she remembers that she initially ASKED me how I felt about it.. not just assumed that I was cool and made plans for us to look at houses in Toronto.
I kind of want to come back. A big part of me wants to because I did grow up there and I do have some friends left (surprisingly) and I do hate Victoria, but part of me is just really scared. I mean, the one time that I've been back since I moved, it was so dramatic. I'm also currently not speaking with my best friend of forever. Plus, I think that I will feel like a loser who will never escape her hometown if I go back and like I'm running away. Does it really matter, though? Who knows. I think that I should just grow up and get over myself.
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| And as long as I'm okay, I want to figure it out myself. |
[Friday January 27th, 2006 @ 5:38pm] |
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The Perishers -- When I Wake Up Tomorrow |
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Nothing pretty much at all has happened in this past week. I've been doing my homework, studying, babysitting, all of that responsible teenage goodness. I lead an interesting life.
So that it's more than just a few silly words, I'm trying to think of music, movies, even TV shows that I've watched lately to ramble about, but I can't, and I think that's a pretty good indication of how boring this week's been.
The only thing remotely interesting is a conversation that I had with my mom last night. I haven't told her about the whole Jay/Manny fiasco because looking back, I feel so stupid, so obviously, she doesn't know. She started talking about what a great time she had last weekend seeing all over old friends, and she suddenly mentioned that she'd like to move back. I don't know how serious she was or not. I don't know if I want to or not. The more that I think about it, the more that I think she hates Victoria as much as I do.
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| What I need is a good defense because I'm feeling like a criminal. |
[Saturday January 21st, 2006 @ 9:31am] |
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Fiona Apple -- Criminal |
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So I spent a while in Toronto. I came with my mom and Jack, and we stayed a the Hotel of Toronto. I guess being in Toronto wasn't completely weird like I imagined that it could be. All the places seemed exactly the same as I remembered them, and as far as being in the city goes, it was kind of like I had never left.
Seeing as how the reason that I was in Toronto was to get my car from Sean, he came and picked me up and we went to his house to get it, and it is the most beautiful piece of metal ever. We drove (or rather, I drove. :) ) to a restaurant to get something to eat, and then we went by the park and swung on the swings. I also hung out with Craig the loserrrrr. His family and mine went out to dinner, and then him and I went back to his house and hung out and watched TV and I stole his peanut butter just like old times, hahaha.
I also hung out with Jay, and we went to some party and kissed. Manny told me about her and Jay's love affair just a few days before, so her and I aren't exactly on the best of terms, which is a big understatement. And then instead of going back to Victoria, I stayed with Jay through part of the school week. I'm a great best friend. I told Manny about my staying at Jay's, and her and I got into a huge fight. Part of me wanted to apologize and leave his house and go to her's instead, but another part of me gets so damn defensive when I know I'm in the wrong, and that's the side that I showed, and it escalated into a huge blowout from there. I guess I'd rather be thought of as a cold-hearted bitch than what I really am: so lost and confused and I don't even know what I am to hide.
I'd rather Manny think that I'm just having fun than the truth, which is that I'm always running from something. Just in the past two or three months, I've run from Toronto to Montreal, from Montreal to Victoria, from Victoria to Toronto, and then from Toronto back to Victoria, messing things up every city along the way. I'm tired of doing this and I'm tired of feeling like this and I just want to go back to the way that I was before. Something has got to change.
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| The future hangs over our heads, and it moves with each current event. |
[Friday January 13th, 2006 @ 4:24pm] |
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Bright Eyes -- Landlocked Blues |
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Hmmm, nothing too interesting has been going on in my life. I've been doing pretty good in school, but all that I can really credit for that is the fact that I have nothing better to do with my time than a katrillion problems of crazy insane math and read every little thing assigned in English. Ohhh, la vie interesante d'Emma! Only not.
The one thing that is really worth updating over is that I'm going to be in Toronto this weekend. :) My mom's going to bring me, and the forty-something hours (I can't remember exactly how many hours it is from Victoria.. ask Craig) are umm, going to be condensed because I haven't even started packing until today and my mom is planning on driving 45745645 mph. I'm going to go to Sean's to get my car, yayyyy! And he has peanut butter for me. So awesome. I'm not entirely sure of my plans while I'm in town, but I know that I'm going to have to hang out with Manny and catch up on our lifetimes and drink virgin Margaritas. And, of course, if anyone else wants to see me while I'm around, then let me knowww.
I'm so.. apprenhensive, I guess? of returning to Toronto. This is the longest that I've ever been away from it, and it's my hometown. I don't know if I should be excited about seeing everyone and everything or nervous because what if things have dramatically changed? Things always change. It's nothing to avoid or worry yourself over, I know. And I know that everything is changing because I hear of all of this drama at Degrassi and I can't keep up, hard as I try. And I do try to keep up even though I say that I don't, and I don't know what to think about that. Drama is stupid, but I feel so left out.. of everything. Maybe all that I need is some closure, and maybe that's what this trip will do for me.. that's kind of what I'd like to happen, I think. But do I really want closure from the only home that I've ever known so that I can spend the rest of high school/my LIFE? in Victoria? Victoria? I don't feel anything there.
And on another note before I go to finish packing, and it's a very pleasant note, I win, and Hogart lost! Go me.
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| I hope I can pass. High school means nothing. |
[Saturday January 7th, 2006 @ 10:03pm] |
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Modest Mouse, "Trailer Trash" |
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Sooooo I pretty much suck because I haven't updated in a really long time, and all of my apologies go out to all of you because I know that you have been impatiently awating this update with bitten fingernails and lots of tears. Only not!
Christmas was pretty low-key, but it was really nice and cozy. My mom and Jack and I bundled up and drank hot chocolate and watched the "The Christmas Story" marathon. I was really worried about it being a really hard day, but my mom was really strong about it and besides, Christmas is only a day. In fact, drinking hot chocolate and watching movie marathons were about all that I did my entire Christmas break.. until Craig showed up! It was surprising, that's for sure. He brought me fifteen jars of peanut butter, though, and my new rule is that nobody is allowed to stay at my house unless they bring me peanut butter. Sean, you owe me! Just kidding. I'll let you slide.. this time. :) It's good that we got things straightened out. I don't really enjoy holding grudges, especially with someone who I used to live with, forty-five hours away or not. I don't really know what more to say about that. You know how when you're away from somewhere or someone for a long time and you see them again and everything falls into place and it feels like you haven't even not seen each other? It was kind of like that.. after I gave him the cold shoulder at first, of course. :)
Blahhhh, school starts back in two days, and that sucks. Booooooo school. :(
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| Distance makes the heart grow weak so that the mouth can barely speak. |
[Thursday December 22nd, 2005 @ 5:43pm] |
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Feist -- Lonely Lonely |
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Christmas is in three days, and that is insane. I didn't have anyone to shop for besides my mom and Jack, and I already got my present to Sean. My mom's insisting that I don't get her anything, but I'm going to make her something really super; I'm just not sure what yet. If I had been thinking, I would of got one for Manny early and sent it with Sean, but whenever I go to pick up my car from him, I'll give her present to her. It's actually kind of relieving to not have a lot of people to shop for because my mom has a tight budget, which I totally understand and not to mention kind of depressing.
This Christmas is going to be far from the best Christmas ever. I guess the main reason why isn't a huge stretch. It'll be my first Christmas spending it with just my mom and Jack without Dad, not to mention without any friends in a completely new area in a new house in a new place. I'm trying to make the best of this for me, and more so for my mom because I know that it's so difficult for her and she's trying so hard to make things the best that she can for Jack and I. I really appreciate that she's been thinking so much about Jack and I in this time because I care a lot more about her satisfaction than I do my own. I think she's trying to keep herself busy. Aside from that, I know it's hard for her to be able to deliver Christmas to us financially. It's hard enough to keep our lights on for her, especially here. At my mom's old job, she made a lot more than she does here. I really don't want anything, especially if it's going to bring her trouble, and I told her that, but I think that it kind of hurt her feelings because she's trying really hard to make this as normal as possible. Honestly, I'm just glad to be here with my mom and my brother instead of living in some guy's garage or being homeless, and that's all that I need for Christmas. God, I'm such a horrible person. I can't even imagine what I put my mom through those months that I was in Toronto and she was here. It makes me feel so bad and cringe so much to think of it.
Well I'm going to wrap this entry up. My mom just got home from grocery shopping, and I hear a very large tub of peanut butter calling my name.
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| There are oceans and waves and wires between us. |
[Saturday December 17th, 2005 @ 2:28am] |
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Rilo Kiley -- Wires And Waves |
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Sean's visit was very awesome. It was really good to be able to see and talk to a long-time friend. We exchanged Christmas gifts, and the CDs that I got for him aren't anywhere near what he got me.. a lovely bracelet which I'm wearing now and a freaking CAR. Yes, Sean got me a car, and I'm still so amazed. Technically, actually, he gave me the keys, but as soon as I can arrange to go to Toronto to pick the car up, then it's all mine. He made me promise to come visit him now that I'll have my own transportation, haha. His mom invited me over for whenever I'll be in Toronto, which is really kind of her. I need to talk to my mom to get some plans worked out for going. I'm kind of nervous, too, about being in Toronto, and honestly, I'm not even all that sure why.. probably pride, mostly, but I guess I'll find out once I get there, whenever that will be. My mom was really glad to be able to see Sean, and she was ever-charmed by him and his gifts and guest hospitality, haha.
School's been decent, I guess? It's the same as it's been pretty much.. nothing too great, nothing too horrible. The other day we had a fire drill, and I nearly turned to ice.
I can't think of anything else to say, so I'm going to end with this (because he's making me write it again):
Sean is cool.
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| That's the way this wheel keeps working now. |
[Thursday December 8th, 2005 @ 11:53pm] |
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John Mayer -- Wheel |
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Long time, no update, eh? I guess so, and I guess that there are quite a lot of things to update about. Okay, there are.
Montreal? I'm not there anymore. It just wasn't for me. I didn't like it much, and yeah. I'm now in Victoria, BC, with my mom and baby Jack. I guess it's better for me. I'm being nonchalant.. I know that it's better for me here with my mom and with my brother, and maybe my dad isn't here, but this is what I have, and I'm just going to enjoy what I do have. Ruining my life and getting high isn't going to bring my dad back. God, I had this conviction like somebody OWED me something. Nobody owes me anything. I'm the only one who can bring some kind of life back to myself. When Snake died, it was like I let him take part of me with him, and I want me back. Deciding to come back has taught me quite a bit, I guess, or maybe I just knew it all along and was scared. I can't believe that I let myself fall so far, but there won't be any more of that.
My mom never asked me any questions or anything about Montreal, and I appreciate that more than she knows. I guess that she knew what she was doing with letting me be free and figure things out on my own, but maybe she didn't. Maybe she just didn't know what to do with me or herself and gave up, who knows? Either way, I am really glad that she's taken me back after all of the things that I've done, even though she doesn't know. I'm sure she has an idea. My mom is working in a hair salon near our house, and she doesn't make a wicked amount of money, but that's okay. We made it by when I was younger, and we can do it now. Jack stays in preschool during the day, even though he's only two. It's kind of weird to think of him being two, though. It feels like he was just born yesterday or something.
I started school here in Victoria earlier this week.. eh. It's okay, I guess. It's a pretty big school, so nobody's noticed me enough to give me too much trouble. As soon as most guys find out that I'm new, though, they make it their mission to be my guide for the day, but I politely turn them away because I can find my way around just fine, thanks. I haven't really made any friends. Most of the girls here are too into themselves or boys or clothes or glossy magazines and they have no idea what life can really do.
Sean is coming by Sunday, and I'm quite excited to see him. It'll be good to be around someone farmiliar and someone to talk to because I haven't been able to really talk to anyone in person since.. I can't remember. He is a good listener, too.
And Sean is cool. (Okay, he made me write that.)
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[Friday November 25th, 2005 @ 1:14pm] |
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Whatever these people are listening to. |
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Shortly after I last updated, Kenneth and I finally found his friends' house. It's a nice little place, I guess. I haven't looked for a school or really even decided if I want to go back to school. I think I want to be a full-time truckdriver when I grow up, so why go to school? Only not. I really don't know what I want to do, and who cares? I have time to decide. I used to want to be a vet, but that's way too much school for me.
Only not about it being a nice and cozy place. There are fifteen other guys here who live here on a regular basis. Yes, fifteen. And it's a two-bedroom place. That's not even counting the random hoochies and random guys who pass through. I've had more passes made at me since I've moved here than my entire life, which, not to sound like I'm bragging, is a lot. And those passes aren't always friendly, either. I had to slap a few guys to get their hands off of me. I'm scared to go to sleep, and I hate it here.
Part of me wishes that I hadn't been so dumb to leave Toronto, but I really didn't have a choice. Or so I thought, I guess. Why didn't I go to stay with Manny? Or anyone? Maybe Craig's wasn't an option anymore, but I had plenty of other ones. It's too late to go back. Manny told me that I was being too prideful, and maybe I am. I don't know what to do. I want to see a farmiliar face in all of this, but that's not going to happen. THe only person who I even know in this whole freaking province is Kenneth, and he's been baked since we got here, and that's not helping. I haven't even touched anything once because I've been too scared of being vunerable around all of these guys. When I thought that my situation couldn't get any worse, it did. I'm such a dumb girl.
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| And you will leave in the fall when the trees become graves and their color lay dead in the grass. |
[Monday November 14th, 2005 @ 9:45pm] |
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Bright Eyes -- Jetsabel Removes The Undesireables |
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Yeah, so I'm finally out of Toronto and Degrassi and Craig's house for good, and I couldn't be happier. I'm currently in Montreal. My friend Kenneth and I arrived here yesterday, and today we've spent all day looking for his friends who supposedly live just around the corner, but we keep getting lost. My French is rusty, and he doesn't speak French at all. Oh well. So maybe I should of paid better attention in that one class.
I'm in an internet cafe right now while Kenneth looks for a phone to call them and get better directions. I'm very happy to be here, and all of you who I've told need to visit me, I haven't gone back on my word, and as soon as I'm settled, you're invited to stay with me. I don't know if I'm going to be looking for a school or not. We'll just see how that one goes.
I have to go now. Kenneth just came in, and we're going to go and try to find those kids. Later.
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| Your son is a glorious mess.. but deep in his center he swears theres a candle just waiting to burn. |
[Tuesday November 1st, 2005 @ 8:45am] |
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The Good Life -- What We Fall For When We're Already Down |
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Whoa, so it's been a while since I've updated. I've been too busy looking for a peanut butter jar costume in Toronto, but unfortunatly, there wasn't one. Maybe that means that nobody else is a big fan of peanut butter in this city, which is fine by me because then there is more for me, hooray. I guess it doesn't really matter for oh, just a few more days, how many people in Toronto like peanut butter, but I'll get to that part later in this entry.
So yeah.. Craig and Paige broke up. God, and let's blame Emma again! So maybe I was involved, but that doesn't mean that I'm out to destroy their relationship or anything.. whatever. It's not like last time when we kissed in the garage. There's no romance between that kid and I, and I still don't even really know how to explain their last break-up which I was involved in because there weren't even any feelings between him and I back then. So Paige found out about that dumb emo boy taking the joints that I offered him, and they break up and it's all my fault. Now they both hate me, which is really cool of them both. Whatever. I really couldn't care less what goes on between those two.
Due to the fact that I was so incredibly bored Sunday night, I decided to grace Ashley's party with my presence. Ha. I saw Manny there, which I guess was cool considering that I don't see her much, and I took the alcohol that she offered me because I was going out of my mind with all of the awkwardness and tension in that room even though alcohol isn't my thing. and I took it pretty far considering that all that I really remember is spilling my life story to Ellie while I was laying on the counter and Craig being a prick and me deciding that I'm leaving Toronto and then smearing peanut butter on his bedroom walls. I don't need him or Degrassi or any of this place.
I'm not sure where I'm staying. I can either go to BC with my mom or go to Montreal with some friends, and right now, it looks like I'm going to Montreal. I don't think I could bear to see my mom in whatever condition she's in and have her know all the ways that I've failed and that I've screwed myself up. A few more jars of peanut butter in my suitcase and I'll be ready to go.
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| I know it seems that I don't care, but something in me does, I swear. |
[Wednesday October 19th, 2005 @ 12:15am] |
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Ben Folds -- Narcolepsy |
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So it's just another manic Mondaaaaay! Only not 'cause it's Tuesday and not very manic, but oh well. I'm cool, so don't be jealous of that like I know some people are. Cough.
I need to find some life on these late nights other than not doing my homework and getting online and eating peanut butter and getting high. Oh, and convincing my lame semi-roommate to get high with me. So last night, Craig comes into my garage looking for a jar of peanut butter (which I had hidden, of course), and is looking extra-emo. I asked him what was the matter several times, but him being the stubborn donkey that he is, he wouldn't tell me, so I just pulled out a bag of weed and threw it at him because he needed the stress relief or whatever. What a nice and caring person I am to share my valuables with that whiny kid. Luckily, Joey and Angie weren't home or else Joey would of probably known that something was up because Craig wouldn't stop yelling when he was talking and jumping on my couch and singing very loudly. Stupid kid.
I haven't talked to Kenneth for a while, and I need to because of me being generous to lameface and not having much of a stash left. I need to get some money somehow, though, because I don't think Kenneth is having too much fun with being nice and sharing with me anymore, especially with me sharing what he's given me, but he doesn't have to know about that. I'll figure something out, and a job's not an option because um, drug tests? I don't think so.
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| Now and again, it seems worse than it is, but mostly the view is accurate. |
[Sunday October 2nd, 2005 @ 11:16pm] |
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Bright Eyes -- Something Vague |
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No, I haven't died or anything. My computer's been messed up, but I made Craig fix it, but it was for a price. My peanut butter is rationed now; only two jars a day. What a loser.
So my life has been way more than sufficiently lame lately. The highlight of my recent days was Paige's surprise birthday party where Craig tried to tell me that five jars of peanut butter isn't a very good gift, but whatever because he doesn't know anything anyway. I didn't stay too long because I wasn't feeling too well and very unfestive and lame and antisocial and blah. I guess that's nothing new, though. The problem wasn't Paige's party because it was quite lovely. The problem, I'm realizing more and more, is me. I'm like a rock in a bag of cotton balls. Bad analogy, I know. Whatever. I don't really want to change, though. I mean I'm perfectly justified to feel like I do; my freaking dad died. I don't think I'm going to bounce up and feel too great and be Miss Partygirl of the Grade Eleven class after this, and who even says that I have to fit that dumb social teenage girl stereotype anyways? I'll be graduating in two years, and I don't need to please any of these people or play high school with them because it will all be over before too much longer. Whatever. Whateverwhateverwhatever. My head hurts. Why do I even update this livejournal? So after Paige's party, I did what I always do when I feel like crap: get high. And now I'm feeling like crap, so I think that's what I'll do.
My mom is still calling me and trying to get me to visit. I'm undecided. I really am pretty busy with school this year yeah right, so I'm not sure if I can or not. This entry is lame. I talk about peanut butter too much.
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| How soon you forget this house will never be your home. |
[Friday September 16th, 2005 @ 11:08pm] |
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Bright Eyes -- Jetsabel Removes The Undesirables |
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Blahhh, so I'm obviously the coolest person ever because who else would be updating their livejournal on a Friday night instead of living up their young lives like they should be? Uhh, don't answer that. It's not my fault, I guess. Craig is gone somewhere, Joey and Angie are gone somewhere else, Blake and Kenneth are out of town or something, and my television here in the garage is broken, and that royally sucks. I'd go to the beach or something, but eh, I guess I just don't have the willpower. Whatever.
My mom keeps calling me from British Columbia and asking me if I'd come and visit her, but I just don't know when I can find time to do that. Only not. I don't want to, and if that makes me a bad person, then oh well. I don't want to go and visit her and see all the ways that her and her life has changed; I don't want to meet her new friends or visit wherever she is working now; I don't want to actually see any of it because it would be too real, and I just don't want to deal with that. I have too much on my mind as it is. Part of me thinks that I should go at least see her because it's not as if I'm having hte time of my life in Toronto. I'm tempted to not answer my phone, but I never know when it might either be my mom or Kenneth. I just want her and Jack to go away and stay out of my life, but I wish that they wouldn't of ever left. But I really don't see the point of them being in my life if they are bound to leave it eventually. Getting close to people is dumb.
I'm going to finish this entry and maybe go attempt to fix my TV or watch some upstairs.
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| We could be daytime drunks if we wanted.. and we'd still be ruled by our dueling perspectives. |
[Friday September 9th, 2005 @ 11:51pm] |
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Rilo Kiley -- The Absence Of God |
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School's been going a bit better than usual, I suppose. Lunch at first had been consisting of just following Craig around and stealing all of his food, specifically any food with peanut butter in it, but Sean's been joining me on my lunchtime missions these past few days. It's good to be talking to him because it had been a while since we had. We went to the grocery store yesterday, and I got lots of pickled eggs because Sean really likes pickled eggs, and he knows it. Then we went back to his house and he tried to cook, but it was really bad, so I took over because I'm a fabulous chef. Sean isn't, though; how hard is it really to mess up spaghetti? Spaghetti's not my specialty, but I know that he messed it up, which is sad. We hung around at his house and watched television for a little while, but then I had to go to meet up with Kenneth, so Sean walked me back to Craig's garage.
When I walked inside to get ready to meet up with Kenneth, Craig was sitting in the garage waiting for me. He apologized for overreacting the day that he found me with the joint, which was nice of him, I guess? I suppose that I don't have to avoid him as much, but him and I are so different. Just because I've known him for a long time and I'm kind-of sort-of living under the same roof as him doesn't mean that he knows what my life is like because he doesn't, and no one else does, either. But whatever, we can feel comfortable around each other now, and that's better than awkward like it has been. So then I told him that I had to leave, and he asked where I was going to. I figured that it was kind of pointless to lie to him, so I told him the truth: that I was going to see my friend Kenneth. He asked to come along with the reasoning that he was bored with Joey and Angie being gone, and I decided to let him, though I'm not really sure why I decided that right then. So we met up with Kenneth, and the first thing that Kenneth does is offer Craig pot. I felt kind of uncomfortable because from the way that he was lecturing me before, I thought that Craig was disapproving of drugs. So imagine my surprise when Craig accepted Kenneth's offer. Yeah. And the next thing I know, Craig, Kenneth, and I are all smoking up together, and though it was shocking, I really can't say that it was a bad experience. I guess it kind of surprised me, okay, it surprised me a lot, because I always thought that Craig was too clean-cut for that kind of thing. I guess it's cool that I don't have to feel like I'm sneaking around with my entire roommate population now, just two-thirds of them, and that's an improvement, right? Besides, maybe now he can cover for me with Joey a bit.
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| And if my hands stop working, you can call me lazy. |
[Friday September 2nd, 2005 @ 11:44pm] |
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mood |
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blah |
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music |
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Rilo Kiley -- More Adventurous |
] |
Blah, the beginning of school. So I decided to stay in school.. for now. I guess I'll just see how Grade Eleven goes or something. This was by far the most unfirstday-like day ever. I used to be so excited for the beginning of school, as dorky as that sounds; new supplies, new clothes, new chance to start over. How dumb. You never really get a new chance to start anything over. It's just a pointless illusion. Media Immersions really, really sucked. We have some new teacher teaching the class, and yeah. The whole class, I was seriously considering just walking out of the class and leaving Degrassi for good. It's so weird without Snake being around the school, and it's so weird how nobody else even seemed to notice because duh, Heather Sinclaire's back-to-school outfit is way more important. I seriously don't know if I can take this kind of stuff everyday until ten months from now and repeat it the year after, ugh. It was just another first day. We've all had enough of them for me to not have to describe in detail to you the lameness of it because everyone knows all about it, and I don't want to waste your life boring you.
There's not really much else worth mentioning besides the fact that I'm about to go meet up with Blake, one of Kenneth's friends, because he said that he's got a nice new bag of pot, and that's exactly what I need right now. so I'll just leave it at that.
((ooc: i'm sososo sorry about not updating lately! not only have i been really busy with school and random other stuff, but my computer is completely retarded and won't let me on the internet. ughhh. i'm on my dad's laptop right now, and it doesn't even have aim on it. i hate to sound like a beggar 'cause i know that my activity has sucked lately, but please don't cut me! thanks loves.))
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| Nothing to do; you're always looking for something to sniff, smoke, or swallow. |
[Friday August 26th, 2005 @ 8:27pm] |
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mood |
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 sick |
] |
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music |
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Bright Eyes -- A Line Allows Progress, A Circle Does Not |
] |
I went to the park the other day because I was bored and avoiding chez Craig, and I saw JT there. He's not very cool, and he's just jealous of my hopscotching skills.
So I'm sick, and it sucks. I can barely get off of this couch because I feel like I weigh 325345435 pounds, and the worst part is that I have no peanut butter within my reach and I'm not about to ask Craig for any because Mission: Avoid Craig and His House is temporarily disabled, so that sucks. I really like Craig as a friend, I do, but I don't like how he makes me feel guilty for making the most of my life. And spending time without peanut butter majorly sucks especially when there is nothing to chase nasty grapeflavoredsugarinfested medicene with. Ew.
And if I don't get out of this house, I'm going to go freaking insane. I'm so aggravated that I used up my stash and didn't get anymore. Now I'm super regretting not restashing myself.
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